


It can't rain all the time

by Reposhillo



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, stages of grief
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-12 02:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20126656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reposhillo/pseuds/Reposhillo
Summary: Ashe struggles to come to terms with Lonato's death, going through multiple stages of grief and trying to cope as best he can and continue on with his life. But whoever said he had to deal with it alone? He certainly won't if Blue Lion's infamous womanizer has any say about it.





	1. The Fog Settles

At first, Ashe isn't sure what to make of the fog that had settled into the thick of his mind. He was well aware of the anxiety and paranoia that plagued him when he first heard that his adoptive father had taken up arms against the Central Church. There had been quite a bit of denial as well he supposed, unable to believe or even comprehend the kind man he knew doing such a thing. Back then, he had naively believed it had to be some sort of grave misunderstanding. The Lonato he knew, the one who took him and his siblings in despite Ashe's attempted robbery of his manor, would never rise up and cause harm to the church.

Of course, that was before Ashe and his companions had traveled to Magdred Way, expecting to simply be a part of a clean up crew to Lonato's rebellion. Even on the march, led by their teacher and House Leader Ashe had continued to hope that things could settle peacefully. That things didn't have to end...The way they had. In retrospect, perhaps Ashe should have seen it coming. Not that Lonato had shared any sort of plans or gave clues as to his intentions. Maybe it was his fault...If he had noticed the signs. Surely there had to have been signs right? Ashe had only known Christophe, Lonato's true son, for a time before his execution but perhaps that should have been enough to know that something like what had transpired would happen eventually. Of course Lonato was kind to him, taught him well and trained him, gave him a chance to study as a knight and make something of himself, to be more than the orphaned thief that stole to survive. But Ashe was more than aware that he would never hold the true weight in Lonato's heart like his own flesh and blood would.

Was there anything he could have done to prevent the rebellion? Could he have somehow managed to talk to his adopted father about his troubles? Noticed any changes? The night before they marched for the Gaspard region Ashe had been scouring through all the letters he received from Lonato during his time at the academy, looking for any sort of hints or clues.

There was none to be found, so that day...Ashe's heart was already heavy with doubt, guilt, and dread. As Lonato rallied his troops against his classmates and the infamous Catherine. But the moment Lonato ordered Ashe to step aside, that he wasn't above striking him down to get to Catherine....His heart had shattered. He could only watch as his adopted father was struck down by Catherine's weapon. It was a moment that Ashe knew he could never forget any time soon. The moment Lonato's lifeless body hit the ground...It was like an icy hand slipped through his rib cage and gripped at his heart, and then...Numbness. After the guilt, the anxiety, the self blaming...

Now he was just...Numb.

There were so many what ifs, so many things Ashe wishes he did differently. So many questions without answers, so many things he needed to sort through. 

Which brought Ashe to the present, with him seated in the front row of the Cathedral. He found himself here pretty often now, if he wasn't holed up in the library or his own room. Mercedes often accompanied him when she noticed him heading down the path to the bridge, smiling and asking about his day. She was one of few lights in his life at the moment. After the incident, most of his classmates had attempted to ensure some kind of comfort to him, asking how he was doing and how he was holding up. Some were more...persistent when Ashe would simply try and smile and lie that he was doing okay. He was sure Mercedes saw through it, and perhaps one other...

Sylvain was one enigma that Ashe had never quite fully understood. Sure on the surface he seemed like a typical playboy and flirt, chasing after skirts left and right and only looking for fun. But that was only the bare surface, as Ashe had learned that he could be quite observant when he wanted, and of course his skill with a lance was nothing to sneeze at. Lately, along with Mercedes and Ingrid, had been attempting to insert himself in Ashe's life ever since the rebellion. He would offer to walk with Ashe to class, sit by him at the dining hall, and sometimes kept at his side even when he slipped to the library. It was quite the change, as Sylvain had never tried so hard to interact with him before. Perhaps it was because they were in the same class, and had to stop a rebellion against the church that was led by his adopted father. Everyone seemed to either tip toe around him or try and be overly friendly but with Sylvain, it didn't feel quite as...fake.

As for everyone's treatment as of late, sometimes he didn't mind, but other times it wasn't like he was a piece of glass. Sure he was having a rough patch, but it was nothing he couldn't help himself out of. At least he hoped he could. If there was one way he could honor Lonato's memory, it was through completing his training to be a Knight, which he had delved into. More studying session, more training, anything Ashe could cram in to better himself.

The archer then sighs, head hanging low as his gaze shifts down to the book that had been situated in his lap. He brought a gloved hand to rub along it's cover, the title Loog and the Maiden of Wind printed at the top. His favorite tale, the one he had been caught trying to steal, the first book Lonato had taught him to read. This simply story held so much meaning to the archer, but now served as a painful reminder as well.

Just before his mind once again backtracked to the repeated process of over analyzing the situation and cycling through the guilt and blame, Ashe all but jolted when hands suddenly clamped down on his shoulders, startling the archer as he attempted to bolt up. Ashe twisted his head back, eyes wide as he first caught sight of red hair.

"Whoa there buddy! Sorry for scaring ya' heh. Just figured I'd stop by and check on you. It's getting pretty late Ashe and Mercedes was a little worried." Sylvain explains, a sheepish grin painted on his features as he released his hold on Ashe, his hands coming instead to cross behind his head as he made his way over the benches. 

"Late?" Ashe parrots, before he takes notice of his surroundings. It had still been light outside when he had stepped inside, but looking around the Cathedral was considerably darker, with candles illuminating the darkened spaces. There were still a few people loitering about, but it was pretty much barren compared to when first came in.

"Yeah dude. You missed dinner and everyone was a little worried. But don't worry, I swiped you some bread and broth." Sylvain explains, shrugging his shoulders as his hand once again returns to Ashe's shoulder. "Seriously, you should come join me and Ingrid. We're having a little late study session, since I'm falling behind in history and Ingrid is not letting me get away with that. You should come as my back up, plus you're pretty clever yourself." He quips.

Ashe frowns, a bit taken aback how everyone seemed to be worried about him. So what if he missed dinner a few times, or lost a few nights worth of sleep. He had to ensure he was as prepared he could be for tests and exams and the physical exercises...

"Uh...Ashe? You good?" Sylvain's voice breaks him out of his mental ramblings, and his focus returns to Sylvain, whose now frowning and looking at him, concern evident in his eyes.

"Oh? I'm sorry. Uh...I'd be happy to join you two, if you don't mind." Ashe accepts the offer, attempting a smile back at his friend. It felt a bit crooked, and Ashe noticed that while Sylvain returned it, it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Course I don't mind. You're a life saver bud. Front row witness in case Ingrid decides to abuse me with books again." He laughs, and his arm quickly loops around Ashe's shoulder once Ashe stands from his seat, his spine making a audible cracking noise as he straightens up. Wow, he really must have been here for a few hours at least. Not that he has much time to dwell on that as Sylvain is guiding him down the center towards the large entrance doors. He keeps his book clutched tightly to his chest as they exit the Catherdral, Sylvain's voice filling his ears on his latest mishap with a girl from the market before it fades to background noise.


	2. Wading through the Unclear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with a new chapter featuring a bit more of our boys interacting. I should say that this will probably be a longer fic, due to the fact I will be extending all the way through the time skip, which is where the romance will truly blossom.

As Sylvain dragged the both of them over the bridge, Ashe could clearly see just how much time had slipped away from him, as the sun could not be seen and the sky was a fading dark blue blooming into black. He certainly had loitered about in the Cathedral enough, and what had he accomplished in doing so? Absolutely nothing. All that time could have been put into studying or scouring the library, even working on his archery and bonding with the horses. He did have his eye on a certain class, although it required him to be good in multiple areas. Instead he had sat on his rear and moped. If he wanted to honor Lonato's memory, he had to be better than this! Better than the thief he used to be! Better than...

_'Get back here you damn street rat.' Ashe doesn't dare risk looking back as he makes a mad dash for the nearest alley, a weighty coin purse clutched tightly in his hands as he fled as fast as his legs could carry him. This would be more than enough to feed him and his siblings for a few days, maybe even rent a room at an inn. That way they would be away from the cold for a little bit. Maybe he could even afford some medicine for the harsh winter ahead._

_All these ideas were racing through his mind, the teen failed to notice the shadow lurking at the entrance of the alley he was aiming for before it delved in further, as if counting on him to turn down that particular path. And he did, one of many mistakes he had made during his time on the streets. _

"**Ashe**!" 

The sound of his name in such an alarmed tone dragged Ashe back out of his memory, green eyes blinking rapidly in confusion as his gaze flickered back and forth before it settled on Sylvain. The redhead seemed particularly concerned, eyebrows knitted and a frown pulling at his lips that seemed so out of place for the easy going noble.

"Seriously man, are you alright? You looked like you were ready to maim something." Sylvain comments, his arm sliding away from Ashe's shoulder and instead crosses it over his other. Ashe quickly noticed they were on the central path through the courtyard. 

"Look, I get it. You just lost someone really close to you. You don't have to try and pretend everything's okay. I mean it Ashe, don't give me any of that bull about being fine. You've been skipping meals, locking yourself up in the library or your room. You're obviously not sleeping-" The redhead uses a hand to gesture to one of his own eyes, or more accurately right under them, which mean Ashe had some serious bags going on underneath his own. "And...It's not healthy dude. I know this is a rough patch for you, but me, hell everyone is here for you. Even the Professor is concerned. Actually scratch that, freaking Petra and Caspar came to us worried about you!" He explains, worry evident in his eyes.

Ashe is stunned into silence for a few minutes, mulling over the lance wielder's words. He wasn't aware his change in habits was so noticeable, and more people were worried than he had initially thought. He momentarily wonders exactly what Sylvain meant by 'us', but that was a question for another time. Instead the archer opens his mouth, then pauses. Honestly, what could he really say at this point? Granted he was getting a little annoyed that everyone was treating him like he was a ticking time bomb, but at the same time he was touched. He wasn't as alone as he thought...

"You're...You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for worrying everyone. It's just _hard_. I still can't process everything." He begins, head lowering as he clutched his book to his chest. "I'm still wondering if there was something I could have done."

"Ashe you can't spend all your time thinking about the past and what if this and what if that-"

"I know Sylvain!" Ashe is surprised at even himself as he snaps at the redhead, green eyes snapping up to glare briefly before they widen and are cast downwards once more. "I know. I know that, which is why I've been trying so hard. Trying to study more and train. Because if there was truly nothing I could have done, I want to still fulfill my dream of being a Knight. To honor him. That's why I have to put in a hundred percent at all times."

"And that's fine! Just not like this!" Sylvain interrupts him this time. "I'm serious. You wanna train, that's fine. Come find me or Ingrid and we'll train with you. Study? Me and Ingrid have study sessions all the time. Just, let us be there for you. And keep you from going through this loop. It'll do nothing for you Ashe, believe me."

Ashe can hardly believe how serious Sylvain is at the moment, having not dropped a single joke or anything. He can't help but point it out, as it's just so out of character for the redhead lancer.

"Why...Do you care so much Sylvain?"

"What, you mean besides the fact that we're friends?"

Well sure, Ashe could consider Sylvain a friend, but they weren't extremely close. Not like Sylvain was to Ingrid or even Felix. Actually, he was only really good friends with Annette and Mercedes, and even then there was a small rift between them.

"If we're being honest, it's because I've seen this all before. I watched a friend lose someone dear to them, and watched how it destroyed them. They stopped eating and sleeping, and threw themselves into training. They started off exactly like you, but it only got worse from there. I don't ever want to see someone like that again Ashe. So I'm nipping this in the bud, right here. You're gonna come with me and get some dinner, and we'll join Ingrid and study. And then, you will go to bed. No staying up past your bedtime this time mister."

Ah, there was the humor returning to Sylvain, and despite himself Ashe found himself smiling for real even if it was a tiny upturn of his lips. It was uplifting to know someone cared this much. Although he was curious as to who Sylvain was referring to being like himself. Actually, he knew several people who had lost loved ones. Actually, a lot of him had. Yet here he was being selfish and causing everyone to worry about him. How low could he get-

"Ashhhhhe! Can you stop spacing out on me buddy?" A hand is being waved in his face. Right, he needed to pull himself together.

"Sorry. I know I'm saying that a lot, I just have a lot on my mind. But thank you Sylvain. I didn't mean to make everyone worry. I'll....I'll try and be better." Ashe then lifts his head up all the way, and allows his grin to grow. He's truly grateful, even if there's still some guilt weighing on him.

"It's fine. Just don't shut yourself away from everyone. I mean it bud, everyone cares about you." Then Sylvain's signature smile returns to his face as his arms fold behind his head. "But that's enough mushy talk about feelings for the night. Let's just go find Ingrid and start a long and torturous study session."

"It won't be that bad Sylvain. You do need to bring up your Warfare History grades."

"Oh come on, not you too. I was counting on you to help me slip away early!"

His smile feels genuine on his face as Ashe shakes his head at Sylvain's antics. "Not a chance Sylvain. Now let's not keep Ingrid waiting."

"Ugh fine..." And with an exaggerated groan Sylvain's arm returns around his shoulder, pulling the archer close as the redhead drags them towards the reception hall, complaining about how little fun there would be and how mean Ingrid has been to him.

Perhaps things would start looking up after all, with friends like these.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel I should mention I have yet to beat the game but am having a blast writing about these two, as well as go through a healing process for Ashe because he goes through a lot at the very start. Comments and kudos are much appreciated and I hope everyone is enjoying this so far.


End file.
